Needing
by Kristen APA
Summary: [Set after S2E5] Coming to terms with William's death.


**A/N:** First I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed, commented, followed, liked, favorited, etc. my fics on both Tumblr and . It means a lot to me :)

This is one of the first pieces I wrote about DA after I first watched it almost two years ago, interestingly enough. I've revamped it a bit for posting online. It's more of an ensemble piece than anything else I've posted. Not the greatest thing I've written, but I'm trying to get all the older things that are at least somewhat acceptable online.

I know I promised fluff, but this was what was ready next. But don't worry, there is fluff to come soon!

* * *

_I won't leave him now, not while he needs me._

* * *

Edith was the one to tell them. She had caught them on their way to dress their respective persons for dinner.

Daisy was there, she stayed with him to the end."

Anna gave a curt nod, blinking back tears.

"I've informed Papa, to make the necessary arrangements. I'll see you in a bit to change." She walked off, leaving Bates and Anna in the hallway alone.

Anna drew in her breath. Poor, poor William. He was such a nice boy. Like a little brother. The war had finally dealt its cruel blow. They knew it was coming, but it still hurt so much.

She felt his hand on her shoulder. He was always careful not to show too much affection in the work place, but he knew that she needed it now. His comfort and support.

He was just as fond as William as Anna was, though. The boy had a kind soul, and had hated how Thomas used to pick on him. Bates wished that he had been able to give him advice on his relationship with Daisy, but knew that he was not quite the best person to ask.

"I should probably get going." She finally spoke. "You too."

He gave her shoulder a squeeze and a look that said they'd talk later.

* * *

She had been dressing Mary first these days. She didn't want to talk Edith again quite yet, so that worked out.

"I'm so terribly sorry," Mary said, trying to mask her voice with that cold demeanor to hide her emotions. She had always liked William and his help with her horse Diamond. "I wish I could have been at the wedding, but I had to see to Matthew. … oh God I have to tell Matthew." Her eyes grew wide in the reflection of the mirror.

Anna stayed silent, pinning Mary's hair. The latter decided to change the subject.

"Did Bates tell you about Sir Richard's phone call?"

Anna nodded. "He did."

"Soon it will be over and you can finally wed."

"I hope so."

But was not what was on Anna's mind at the moment.

* * *

Sybil had decided not to change that evening, and luckily Edith was quite quiet when Anna went to help her. The maid trudged downstairs to help serve dinner.

"Dinner is going to be… well interesting tonight. I wish I had half the mind to ask Mrs. Bird to help out," Carson informed Anna. The rest of the staff was gathered in the servants' hall. "The kitchen maids are doing their best, but we'll have to apologize upstairs."

Anna nodded. "They'll understand, I'm sure. Where are they now?" She had not seen Daisy and Mrs. Patmore since the wedding.

"Still with him."

Mrs. Hughes sighed. "Poor girl. But this day has been tough on all of us."

* * *

Dinner upstairs was quiet. They didn't want to talk about William, nor Matthew's condition. The family was glad that Isobel had made it from France to be by her son's side.

It still gnawed at Mary that someone needed to tell Matthew of William's passing. She really did not want to be the one to do it, but she knew she must.

* * *

Dinner downstairs was also quiet.

"When's the funeral to be held?" O'Brien asked.

"Wednesday. Most people that want to attend are already here in Downton so…" Carson trailed off.

"I'll write Gwen," Anna spoke up, "But I'm not sure she'll be able to make it."

"Very well," Carson said.

Thomas picked at his food, in obvious distaste.

"Who's Gwen, may I ask?" piped up Jane.

"A maid who left to become a secretary," answer Mrs. Hughes. She sighed, reminiscing of those days before the war. She turned her head, looking past the table and at the piano in the corner. How she used to find William playing fast, fun songs with the others clapping and laughing, and also he'd play slow melancholy tunes, all by himself.

* * *

Bates and Anna found themselves in the courtyard, where they often went to have private conversations, trying to get away from the eavesdropping O'Brien and Thomas. She took his hand, sighing deeply. He took her by the waist, and pulled her to towards him. Falling into his embrace, she began to sob into his chest.

* * *

"Matthew, there is no easy way to put this…" Mary sat on the edge of his bed, avoiding eye contact.

"William's gone, isn't he," Matthew flatly stated, closing his eyes.

Mary finally turned, suppressing tears and fiercely nodding. She couldn't hold them back anymore.

"I won't say it's my fault, but he saved my life, I owe him that." He paused, opening his eyes again. "When is the funeral?"

"This Wednesday. I don't think you're well enough to go, Major Clarkson probably won't allow it."

"He'll have to let me."

* * *

"Here Daisy, I think this will fit you." Anna handed the black dress to the kitchen maid.

Daisy took it from her, heaving an annoyed sigh. It was very obvious that she was in the anger stage of her grief.

"If it doesn't, I can hem it up."

She sped out of the room to change.

"She just needs time," she said to Bates, who had shot her a glance. "We all do."

"Of course," was his reply.

* * *

The family headed to the church by car, the staff by foot. Anna and Bates brought up the rear, as they often did on account of his leg, but also because it allowed him to squeeze her hand reassuringly and for her to rub her hand on his arm. It wouldn't be a problem for any other engaged couple, but given their status as servants and also that he was still legally married to Vera, it could be seen as misconduct. But they needed to find the comfort in one another.

* * *

Daisy Robinson—no, Daisy Mason—stood in frozen silence as her husband of a few hours was lowered into the ground and laid to rest. Mrs. Patmore gripped her shoulders. Mr. Mason dabbed his eyes with his handkerchief. She had seen that Captain Crawley was there, wheeled by Lady Mary. But she did not want to hear his condolences. Her feelings for William may have been a complete jumble, but she already solely missed him and wanted him back. She needed him back.

* * *

**A/N:** My writing style for DA is completely different now almost two years later, yikes. Anyway, my next update will be a little more upbeat, lol.


End file.
